Past Life
by luveverythingtv
Summary: Holly has to remember parts of her past to help Steve and Traci catch a killer, no matter how painful the memories are. Can Gail keep Holly together or is Holly going to crumble under the weight of her past? TW when needed. Established Gail/Holly. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Hey me again! Here is another Golly fic. A few quick notes:

1\. I don't own the characters or anything. Not being paid

2\. I am not from Canada so I am using Google and my imagination

3\. There are going to be some TW's. I will try and put a warning at the beginning of each chapter if I feel something could possibly be a trigger. (If even one reader thinks there needs to be a warning I will put one)

4\. This story is not going to be updated regularly, since I have a few other fics in the works

5\. I have no beta so all mistakes are mine (there are going to be a lot!)

6\. I have no idea about Canadian law/ law in general so I am googling and again using my imagination.

Please R&amp;R!

* * *

"1519, detectives are requesting backup at the Lucas Apartments."

Gail and Chris looked at each other and nodded. Chris grabbed the radio and said, "1519, en route ETA 5 minutes."

Gail turned the lights on and they headed over to the apartments.

When they arrived at the scene they could see Detectives Nash and Peck standing outside trying to speak with a crowd of people.

Gail and Chris got out of their car and walked up to them. There was a lot of people talking, except for a tall freakishly large man that Steve was trying to speak with. He just stared at Steve with a blank expression.

Chris tapped Steve on the shoulder and tilted his head over towards the squad car.

Steve and Traci gave the crowd one last look and walked away with Gail and Chris.

Gail looked around and asked, "What's going on Steve? Why are they just standing around?"

Steve sighed and said, "We were called in because the Lucas apartments are a known residence for gangs and drugs. Traci was called in because at around 9:30AM there was a homicide reported. When we get here this is what we see. They are all members of the local Muerte Boys gang. They won't let us through. They said they want to handle it themselves."

Chris nodded in understanding, "So they do their own form of justice."

Steve nodded and said, "Yeah. They won't even let the coroner's van through to start preserving evidence. It's going to be a shit show when we try and get Holly through to see the body."

Gail's attention snapped from the crowd to Steve, "Holly? Seriously! Why does my girlfriend always seem to get the crazy difficult cases."

Traci smiled and said, "Dr. Howsner is at a conference in Ottawa. Holly is the only other forensic pathologist in the area."

Gail groaned and asked, "Is it even safe for her to be here?"

Steve sighed and said, "I can put her in a vest and if I can get this crowd to move then I can go in with her."

Just then they saw Holly's Jeep pull up to the scene. Holly seemed to have taken a moment to take a deep breath before getting out of her car.

Gail and Traci both noticed. Traci turned to Gail and asked, "Is Holly ok?"

Gail shrugged and said, "I'm not sure. She was fine this morning."

Holly got out of the car and grabbed her forensics kit.

Gail smiled and waved Holly over, "Hey lunchbox, over here."

Holly walked over and smiled, "Hey. What do we have?"

Steve and Traci both shrugged, "We don't know. The 'crew' over there won't let us through. We are working on getting them to make way for you and the van but they don't seem to be budging. While you are here we want to put you into a vest."

Holly held up her hand and confidently said, "That won't be necessary"

Gail went to tell Holly to reconsider but Holly had already began walking towards the crowd.

Holly walked half way there before she yelled, "Hey Dumbo, why don't you move your ass."

The large man stopped talking and so did the crowd. Gail and Chris both rested their hands on their guns. Steve and Traci also undid their gun for their holster.

Traci looked at Gail and non verbally asked, 'what the actual fuck?!'

Gail just shrugged and turned her attention back to the crowd.

The large man slowly turned around and looked at a smirking Holly. The large man gave Holly a once over put his hand to his waist. Gail went to make a move when Holly looked at her and shook her head.

The man then lifted his shirt and showed a tattoo on his side of a bird landing in a tree. Holly then lifted her own shirt and showed her side tattoo of the same bird and tree.

Holly then said, "No matter how far, or how long.."

The man then finished the sentence, "You will always have a home with me."

Holly then started walking forward, two of the gang members stepped in her way. One short and round the other tall and skinny. The large man grunted and said, "Hey, let her through."

One of the men said, "What ever Tank", while the other looked at Holly and said, "Why? Who the fuck is this bitch? She yours? If not I call dibs."

Gail heard, she growled ready to shoot the little fucker for even thinking about 'calling dibs' on her girlfriend. But it seemed that Steve knew what she was thinking and tightly grabbed onto her shoulder.

Holly looked at the tall and skinny one, then looked back at the one they called Tank, "Really Dumbo..? May I?"

Tank shrugged, laughed, and said, "Go ahead. You know there are cops right Poindexter?"

Holly smiled and nodded. Holly then took a step towards the skinny gang member and waited for him to grab her by the wrist before her fist shot out and punched him in the throat.

As the skinny one fell to the ground coughing. Holly walked to Tank and said, "You really should teach them some manners."

The skinny one was still on the floor gasping, but he was able to get a question out, "Tank who the fuck is this bitch?"

Tank smirked said, "This is my sister, Holly 'Poindexter' Stewart."

* * *

A/N: I know this wasn't long but I have the 2nd chapter written should be up soon.

Thanks for reading please: Review, Follow, and Favorite!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favorited! Really glad that people are liking this story.

Just a quick warning this chapter has come things that might be triggering to some. I tried to list everything, if anyone thinks another warning should be added please let me know. TW: Mentions of abuse. At the very end TW for the mention of rape (not graphic).

* * *

Holly finished walking to Tank and smiled, "I've missed you Tanner."

Tanner smirked and said, "Hey, come on Hols, it's Tank."

Holly smiled and rolled her eyes. Tanner stepped forward and grabbed Holly by the wrist and pulled her into a hug.

Holly yelped and the sudden movement but wasn't afraid. Once over the shock Holly wrapped her arms around Tanner's neck. Tanner wrapped his massive arms around Holly's waist and held her close.

When they pulled back Tanner snapped his fingers and said, "Move it."

The crowd didn't question Tanner and moved aside. Holly smiled and mouthed 'thank you'.

Holly then walked back over to where the detectives and officers where standing, "All good. Can you rope the area off? I am going to suit up and get the techs in so we can speed this along." Holly then walked over to the coroner's van and told them what she needed.

While Holly was getting ready Gail, Steve, Traci, and Chris all looked at each other dumbfounded. They all knew that Holly seemed was secretive about her personal life; but none of them ever expected Holly to be 'related' to the head of a gang.

Holly was in her suit and walking back towards the body when Gail touched her elbow and asked, "Your brother?"

Holly sighed and said, "In a manner of speaking yes."

Gail had a million questions flying around in her head and Holly could see it. Holly gave Gail a quick kiss and said, "Look I know I should have told you but, there was never a 'right time'. I need to finish this and head back to the morgue but I promise you I will answer your questions."

Gail looked at how scared and vulnerable Holly looked, she took a breath and nodded, "Ok. But you know the others are going to want to know also."

Holly nodded and said, "I know. How about I meet you all tonight at my place. I'll order in, grab some alcohol, and explain as much as I can."

Gail nodded and said, "Sounds good. I love you."

Holly smiled and said, "I love you too. I'll see you back at the condo."

Gail nodded and walked back over to the cruiser where Chris was standing.

Steve and Traci no longer needed Gail or Chris there at the scene so they were getting ready to go.

Gail called Traci over and told her and Chris the plans for tonight. Traci nodded and said, "I'll tell Steve. We will be there right after shift."

Gail got behind the wheel, while Chris got into the passenger seat, and drove off.

* * *

The rest of Gail's day was filled with routine traffic stops and a noise complaint. When Gail and Chris got back to the station Steve and Traci were there staring at the white board.

Steve noticed when she walked in and called her over.

Gail sighed and walked over to Steve, "What? I want to go home."

Steve nodded and asked, "Has Holly ever mentioned anything about a club near Regent Park?"

Gail thought for a second, "No. Why?"

Steve ran a hand through his hair and turned back towards the board, "Nothing. I was hoping we would have had a way in."

Gail rolled her eyes and looked at Traci, "Please translate, I don't speak detective Peck."

Traci gave Gail a small smile and said, "After talking to the witnesses at the scene earlier we believe the murder was about more than just gang rivalry. Holly IDed the John Doe, Damien "DJ" Johnson, 22 years old, known Muerte Boy. According to witnesses, DJ here was killed by the this guy here, Gavin Russell."

Gail was looking at the image of Gavin; he is tall but muscular, with a buzz cut. He looked like a wanna be rapper with his chains and gold rings.

Traci pointed at the building named, 'The Palace', Traci licked her lips and said, "This is the club that Russell now owns."

Gail looked back at the board and asked, "Ok. But what does this have to do with Holly?We know she know's Tank from the Muerte Boys, but what connection does she have to Russell?"

Traci looked at Steve and said, "Russell's used to be a Muerte Boy. Russell's was in charge of all the guns coming and going. When he left Tank took his position. We were hoping that Holly would have some insight."

Gail shook her head, "No. No. No. See I know what you are trying to do. You want to bring Holly in to see what she knows, hoping she can give you info on both Tank and Russell."

Steve looked at Gail and said, "Gail if she knows something she needs to tell us. These are the two biggest gangs, and their leaders. If we could take them down do you know what it would mean for the city?"

Gail continued to shake her head, "I get that Steve I do. But you know what could happen to Holly is your plan backfires? Holly could get hurt, and I don't mean just physically."

Traci the stepped in and stopped both Peck's from continuing their argument, "Look if Holly doesn't know anything then we drop it, ok. But we won't know until we ask, until we get all of the information we possibly can. Speaking of which we should get going to Holly's, I want to get some sleep sometime tonight."

Steve nodded and said, "She's right. Lets head to Holly's. Gail you'll lead the way?"

Gail sighed and said, "Yeah just give me a minute to change and round up the losers."

Five minutes later they were all on their way to Holly's.

* * *

Gail lead Traci, Steve, Andy, Chris, Dov and Chloe to Holly's penthouse condo. The condo was only 15 minutes from the station.

Gail showed everyone where the guest parking lot was, then led them into the building.

They all piled into the elevator and rode the elevator up to the 12th floor. When the elevator dinged Gail got out first and walked the rest of 15 division to a door at the end of the hall.

Gail took out her keys and unlocked the door. Gail called out, "Holly?"

Gail opened the door fully for everyone else and took off her shoes, "Hey take your shoes off. You can hang your coats on the rack right there."

Gail entered the condo and called out, "Spike? Where are you boy?"

A few seconds later a thumping sound came from the stairs. Gail called out again, "Spike!"

Spike was Holly's Siberian husky golden retriever mix. He barked and ran towards Gail. Spike jumped up and licked Gail on the chin.

Gail laughed and smiled, "There's a good boy. Spike go say hi."

Gail hadn't even noticed her friends open mouthes and wide eyes.

Spike looked at Gail and cocked his head almost asking Gail, 'what's wrong with them?'

Gail shrugged and said, "Guys? Hey losers!"

Andy then looked at Gail and said, "Holy shit Gail! Holly's place is fucking amazing!"

Gail smiled and said, "Yeah, I know! Now will you guys enter so I can close the door?"

They all enter the condo and Gail closed the door.

Gail then led them to the spacious living room. Holly had brown suede couches which sat in the center of the room. Looking out the window the Toronto skyline was in perfect view.

Andy and Steve were playing with Spike on the floor, until Gail lifted his bag of food.

Spike ran into the kitchen where Gail was preparing his food at the sound of the crinkling bag.

Gail had just put Spike's bowl down when she heard the front door open.

Holly then entered the condo and smiled, "Hey."

Gail smiled and walked over to Holly taking the two bags she was holding, "Hey."

Holly took off her boots and her coat, then walked up to Gail and gave her a quick kiss.

Gail looked inside the bags and smiled, "Food."

Holly smiled and said, "Yup. I went to the Italian place around the corner. The Alfredo chicken and garlic bread is yours. I got penne vodka for everyone else."

Gail gave Holly another quick kiss and said, "I knew you were a keeper."

Holly rolled her eyes and entered the main area of the condo. She gave everyone on the couch a quick wave 'hello' and tossed a quick, "I'll be right back down. Gail has the food in the kitchen. Help yourselves. There is wine and beer and the side fridge."

Holly then ran upstairs and changed into comfier clothing; Spike not far behind ready to give Holly welcome home kisses.

Steve, Traci, Andy, Chris, Dov, and Chloe all made their way to kitchen. They gasped again at the sheer elegance of Holly's kitchen. The kitchen was extremely modern with white granite counter tops and black cabinets. The kitchen was enormous. There was a large island in the center which comfortably fit six bar stools.

Gail was standing on one side of the island eating her food. Gail pointed to the stools and with a full mouth said, "Sit."

Everyone took a stool and waited for Gail to hand them a plate and fork.

Traci was still admiring the kitchen when she turned to Gail and said, "If I would have known that being a pathologist would allow me to get a place like this I would have considered switching careers."

Holly then enter the kitchen and said, "Trust me this isn't off of my salary alone. I made a few good investments and they paid off."

Chris then chimed in, "They defiantly paid off. This place is freaking amazing!"

Holly walked up behind Gail and smiled, "Thanks. I like it. It's closer to work."

Gail lifted her fork to Holly and offered her a bite. Holly accepted and gave Gail a kiss on the cheek. Holly then whispered, "Thanks."

Gail smiled and said, "Welcome nerd."

Chloe couldn't resist anymore and let out a loud, "Awww! You two are too cute"

Gail glared and said, "Shut it Price."

Holly poked Gail in the side and said, "Be nice."

Gail pouted and looked at Holly, Holly just smiled and gave Gail another kiss before taking a piece of garlic bread.

* * *

They all ate dinner and stuck with safe conversation topics.

When dinner was finished Andy and Gail helped Holly with the dishes. Once the dishes and kitchen were cleaned everyone sat down in the living room.

Steve broke the awkward silence and asked, "Ok, I need to know; is Tanner your biological brother?"

Holly took a deep breath, "No. But he is family. Has been since I was a teenager."

Traci looked at Holly and asked, "Why didn't you say anything? I mean you must know about your brothers gang relations."

Holly licked her lips and said, "I did, I do. I-I purposely distance myself from Tanner. Until today we hadn't seen each other in years."

Holly sighed and continued, "I couldn't keep doing what I was doing, I needed to get out."

Gail interlocked their fingers and gave Holly's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Steve then looked at Holly and asked, "Do you think you can tell us your relationship with Tanner? From the beginning?"

Gail narrowed her eyes and said, "Steve, Holly isn't being interrogated. Back off."

Holly lifted their joint hands and gave Gail's hand a kiss, "It's ok babe."

Holly then looked to Steve and said, "I will tell you what I can, but understand there are some things that I can't talk about with a room full of cops."

Everyone took in what Holly said, shocked that the easy-going had ever done anything wrong; but they all nodded in understanding.

Holly took a sip of wine and leaned back, "The beginning.. Um.. Well I think it is important to know I was a foster kid. I grew up in the system. I was in the U.S foster system until I was 11. The people fostering me moved to Toronto and brought me with them, until they just up and disappeared. After that I spent the next 4 years in the Canadian system. I had some really shity foster families.. Umm. I ran away at 15. Lived on the streets in Toronto. Until I met Tanner."

Holly paused taking a breath, "Umm. Tanner and I met in high school. I forged my documents so I was 15 in junior year classes. Tanner was the one to find out that I had lied, but he kept my secret. In return I helped him with homework and stuff."

Gail whispered, "Nerd."

Holly smiled at Gail and poked her in the side.

"Over time Tanner and I became friends, he used to let me sleep on his couch when his mom was working late. His mom didn't mind me staying, she was a sweetheart. But his mom ended up passing away in a drive by shooting. Tanner couldn't move, he had no where to go, no one to look after him, and he was so close to graduating high school. So we decided to work together to keep the apartment."

Holly took another sip of her wine, "Tanner joined the local gang. He did minor stuff, watching door, carrying suitcases, driving the 'bosses' around. Enough to make rent. I got a job at a local club. It wasn't much but between the two of us we made ends meet."

Andy cleared her throat and said, "If you don't mind me asking, but why didn't you just leave? I mean I know he was your friend but he was doing shady things"

Holly chuckled humorously, "Hindsight is always 20/20. I was a 15 years old, Tanner was the only friend I had ever had, I couldn't just give that up. And at the time Tanner wasn't actually doing shady things, he just worked with people who did. In my mind, at the time, that was enough to get me to stay."

Chris then asked, "Then why did you leave?"

Holly swallowed and said, "I got into some trouble and had some problems with the club I was working at. When Tanner found out he took care of it. Tanner ended up getting caught, he spent 9 months in prison; because of me."

"When he got out we both knew I wan't cut out for that life, so I gave him all the cash I had ever saved and told him that I was leaving. We got our tattoos that night. The trees are home and the birds are us; the other will always have a home in our tree."

"I left that night, applied for 'home study', so I didn't have to go to school, got my GED. After I applied for grants and scholarships, got into University of Toronto, and continued from there."

Traci looked at Holly and said, "I am so sorry. I never.."

Holly shook her head, "You didn't know." She then looked at Gail and said, "None of you knew."

Gail had tears in her eyes after listening to what had happened in Holly's past.

Steve then asked, "I hate to ask this Holly but where was the club?"

Holly broke her gaze with Gail and looked at Steve with a confused look, "Regent Park. Why?"

Steve and Traci shared a looked.

Holly looked between the two of them and asked, "Someone care to enlighten me?"

Traci cleared her throat and explained, "It seems that the victim, DJ, was killed by the club owner Gavin Russell. We are trying to figure out why. We wanted to know if you had any information on Russell?"

Holly went ridged. Gail looked at Holly, her breathing was becoming more erratic and her palms were starting to sweat."

Gail knelt on the floor and pulled Holly's face close to hers cupping her cheeks, "Holly. Holly! You ok? Baby?"

Holly had tears streaming down her face, Gail looked at Traci for help.

Traci stood up and told Andy to get her a bottle of water and told Chris, Steve, and Dov to go wait in the kitchen.

Andy jumped up and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Chris, Steve, and Dov quickly headed for the kitchen and left Gail, Chloe, and Traci to calm Holly.

Chloe was sitting next to Holly rubbing her back when Andy returned.

Andy handed Traci the bottle of water and took a step back, to not crowd Holly.

Gail was still trying to get Holly's attention. Running out of ideas Gail pulled Holly into her cradling her head into her neck.

Holly grabbed onto Gail's shirt and started sobbing.

Gail held on tighter as Holly's sobs became more intense.

Traci signaled for Chloe and Andy to go into the kitchen. Both officers followed Traci casting one last look at Gail and Holly.

While in the kitchen Dov asked, "Is Holly ok?"

Traci shrugged and said, "Honestly I'm not sure."

Chris looked at Traci with sad eyes and asked, "Is there anything we can do?"

Traci shook her head and said, "I don't think so. I think she just needs some space."

Traci then looked at the time and said, "How about you all head home. I'll stay with Gail and Holly for the night, make sure they are ok, and I'll give you all an update tomorrow."

Steve wanted to argue but knew it wasn't a good idea, it was basically their fault that Holly broke down like this.

The officers and Steve all called out 'bye' to Gail and Holly before putting their coats and boots back on.

Once they all left Traci closed and locked the door.

When she re-entered the living room Holly had stopped sobbing, but still kept her head tucked into Gail's neck.

Traci took a seat on the couch closest to Gail and Holly and calmly said, "They all left since it is getting late. I decided to stay and make sure you two are alright."

Gail nodded and mouthed, 'thank you'. Traci just nodded.

A few more minutes had passed when Traci and Gail heard Holly mumble something, "Don't let him get me again."

Traci looked at Gail and then back at Holly. Traci slowly moved closer to Holly and knelt down, "Holly, what do you mean? Don't let who get to you again?"

Holly lifted her head a little and looked at Gail and Traci, "Gavin. Don't let him."

Traci nodded and said, "Holly don't let Gavin do what again?"

Traci and Gail both held their breaths waiting for Holly's answer.

Holly tearfully looked into their eyes and quietly said, "Don't let him rape me again."

* * *

A/N: so here is chapter 2, this is all that I have written so far so the next update might take some time. Please review, let me know what you think, and please follow! Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: thanks everyone who has reviewed and followed I really appreciate it

TW: mentions of Drug abuse, mention of rape (nothing graphic). If I need another warning here please let me know! Enjoy!

* * *

Gail's heart stopped, her breath hitched, her palms started sweating, her throat went dry, while her eyes became wet.

Gail held Holly tighter and looked over at Traci, begging for help.

Traci got the message and looked to Holly, "Hey, listen to me Holly. We won't let Russell within a foot of you, an inch if I have any say over it. OK."

Holly hadn't moved, but nodded letting Traci know that she heard her.

Traci then sighed and said, "Alright, I think it's time for us to call it a night. We all have an early start tomorrow."

Gail nodded and rubbed Holly's back, "Babe, come on. Lets get you into bed, ok?"

Holly nodded and stood up she looked towards Traci then at Gail and softly said, "Please don't say anything about this, to anyone. Please."

Traci nodded and licked her lips, "I promise I won't say anything, but Holly I can't promise that this won't come out."

Holly sighed and said, "Yeah I know."

Holly looked at Gail and asked, "You coming?" Gail nodded and said, "I'll be there in a minute, I'm just going to help get Traci settled."

Holly nodded, said 'good night', and walked up the stairs.

Gail and Traci watched her go upstairs and waited for her footsteps to stop.

Gail took a few deep breaths trying to control her breathing. Traci looked over at Gail, she was clutching her shirt in a fist over her heart while trying to get her tears under control.

Traci took one of Gail's hands and pulled her into a tight comforting hug. Gail kept her sobs as quiet as she could, to avoid alerting Holly.

A few minutes later Gail pulled back from the hug and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Gail cleared her throat and said, "I'll show you the guest room down here."

Traci silently nodded and followed Gail as she led her to a guest room. The room was simple but expertly decorated.

Traci 'wowed' and took a look around. Gail smiled and said, "Yeah, Holly has an eye for design. Umm. The bathroom is down the hall on the right. There are fresh towels and shower gels in the closet in the bathroom. I'm just gonna... Yeah."

Traci stopped Gail before she could leave, "Gail. It's ok to feel, to cry. You don't have to be strong all the time. You know if you want to talk I'm here."

Gail nodded and said, "I know, but.. How, how do I talk about Holly's r-rape? It wasn't, I wasn't.. 15 Trace.. 15.. That's only a few years older than Leo. At 15 I was more worried about how best to piss off my mother, not how to pay rent or buy food. How do I talk to someone about something that didn't even happen to me?"

Traci nodded and said, "Gail if you need, or want, to talk to someone don't let the fact that 'it didn't happen to you' stop you. This is a lot to take in. Holly is going to need you, for you to help her you need to take care of ourself too."

Gail looked at Traci and sighed, "I know. I just- I wish I could take the memory and the pain away."

Traci smiled and said, "I know you do."

Gail took a deep breath, "I'm going to go check on Holly. I'll see you in the morning Traci.. And thanks again for staying, I really appreciate it."

Traci gave a soft smile and said, "Of course, anytime. Gail, if you need to talk I'm here, anytime."

Gail gave Traci a small smile and closed the door.

* * *

Gail went up the stairs and saw the end table light on. She quietly made her way to the bathroom and got ready for bed.

Gail brushed her teeth and changed into a pair of shorts and one of her baggy t-shirts. Gail knew that Holly was still awake, but wrapped up in her thoughts.

Gail climbed into bed and turned out the light. Gail wrapped her arm around Holly's waist and pulled her closer.

Holly turned in Gail's arms and laid her head on Gail's chest. Gail pulled Holly in tighter and gave her a kiss on the head.

Holly squeezed Gail and said, "I'm sorry."

Gail tilted her head to look at Holly and asked, "What for? You didn't do anything wrong."

Holly felt the tear roll down her check, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Gavin and that you had to find out the way that you did. I-I meant to tell you,but I... I didn't want you to know. I never wanted you to know about that."

Gail lifted up a little and turned Holly's head so that she could see Holly's face. Gail wiped away Holly's tears and looked Holly in the eye, "Holly, I love you. All of you, the past, the present, and the future. I know that you didn't want me to know, but Holly I want to know everything about you, everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to know because your past is a part of you, and that past made you into the beautiful, funny, loving, brilliant woman you are today. A woman I am completely in love with."

Holly looked into Gail's eyes and saw nothing but honesty. Holly leaned forward and gave Gail a soft peck on the lips and whispered, "I love you too."

Gail laid back down pulling Holly with her. They laid in silence for a few minutes before Gail asked what had been weighing on her mind. "Holly, you said you got into some trouble and had problems? What happened?"

Holly swallowed, bit her lip, and looked up into Gail's eyes. Holly then sighed,sat up leaning her back against the headboard, and turned on the light, "Cocaine."

Gail sat up too and leaned back next to Holly, "Hol.. what?"

Holly took a deep breath, "When I first started working at the club I was nervous. I got the job originally as a bartender. I was just supposed to come in every other day and bartend. Then one of the dancers got sick, and they needed a replacement."

Holly was twirling a piece of her comforter hoping that the fabric would give her the courage to continue.  
When Holly stopped talking Gail took Holly's hand and interlocked their fingers.

Holly squeezed Gail's hand and continued, "I had never been so scared in all my life. One of the other dancers took pity on me. She gave me a few pointers, the do's and don'ts of stripping. The owner at the time was named Ricko. He sat me down and said 'your stage name is Bambi. You just need to be up there for 3 minutes. After that you can get off stage, collect your $300 and leave.' I just sat there and nodded trying not to puke. Ricko told me 'close your eyes, relax. I'm gonna make it all better.' He placed a vial or something to my nose, held one side and said, 'stiff in hard'."

Holly clenched her jaw, "That umm,that's how it started. At first it was just before getting on stage, then it was just one more before leaving, next thing I know it's before every school day. That's how I met Gavin, he supplied Ricko with Muerte Boys 'merchandise'. When Ricko 'left' Gavin left took over the club. Gavin made sure all of his dancers got high. But it came with a price, either make more than the hit was worth or sleep with him. When Tanner found out what happened to me he damn near killed Gavin. Tanner made sure I got out of there. He picked me up at one of my lowest points and helped me quit cold turkey. By the time Tanner was arrested I was over the worst of it, but it was hard. Tanner and I knew that if I stayed I would be sucked back into that life. I wanted more, so I left. I got my GED, went to college and med school, did my residency, and became a pathologist."

Gail looked at Holly with so much love in her eyes, Holly lent down and gave Gail a loving kiss, "I've been clean for almost 15 years."

Gail pulled Holly into another kiss and said, "I have never been more proud and honored to call you my girlfriend than I do in this moment. You Holly Stewart are a force to be reckoned with."

Holly smiled and gave Gail another quick kiss. Holly turned out the light as she and Gail laid back down and got comfortable.

They ended up back in their original positions with Gail on her back and Holly resting her head on her chest.

Holly was silent for a second before quietly saying, "This needs to stay between us, at least for now. I-I don't want your friends knowing. I mean I will answer questions if there are any but, I.. I don't want to be sucked back into that world. I don't think I would make it back again."

Gail heard the scared but serious tone in Holly's voice, "I promise, I will keep you out of this as much as I possibly can. And thank you."

Holly was confused, "Thank you for what?"

Gail smiled and said, "For being you, for telling me the whole truth even though it was hard. Thank you"

Holly nodded and said, "I love you."

Gail gave Holly one last kiss on the head and said, "I love you too Nerd. Get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

* * *

A/N: So here is the 3rd chapter. I know it wasn't that long but I'm hoping the next chapter is going to be longer. Please review and let me know your thoughts, I am still kinda nervous about this fic. Thanks for reading. No idea when the next chapter is going to be posted (sorry about that...)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: SO SO SO SO SO SORRY this has taken forever and a day! I was completely buried in school work. I am now on summer break but will be working so I will try and update this as much and as soon as I can. Hope you are still with me! I haven't proofread or spellchecked this, since I really wanted to get this posted. Please if there is anything that doesn't make sense let me know! Thanks for sticking with me! Please review, I love feedback!

* * *

The next morning Gail awoke with Holly in her arms. Gail looked at the clock _6:25AM_. The alarm wouldn't go off until 8:30AM. Gail sighed and looked down at Holly who was sleeping on her chest.

Gail admired how peaceful Holly looked considering all that had happened the night before. Gail used her free hand and gently stroked Holly's cheek and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

Gail watched as Holly's nose twitched slightly and how she turned her face further into Gail's chest. Gail smiled and tightened her hold on Holly. Gail was thinking about Holly, her past, and the case, wondering if she is going to be able to keep Holly's secret from being exposed.

Gail was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Holly start to wake up. Gail looked down and saw Holly open her eyes.

Gail smiled and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead.

Holly smiled and said, "Good morning." Her voice still husky from sleep.

Gail gave Holly a soft kiss on the lips and whispered, "Morning."

Gail loosened her hold on Holly when she started to stretch. Gail admired Holly's toned muscular physique while she stretched.

Holly looked at the clock _7:15AM _and groaned, "Ugh. We still have over an hour. Why are we awake?"

Gail chuckled and shrugged, "We want to wake Traci up with our sexcapades?"

Holly rolled her eyes at Gail's suggestion but then shyly bit her lip.

Gail knew Holly was worried about Traci knowing about her past. Gail sat up and pulled Holly towards her. Holly curled into Gail's side and laid her head on her shoulder.

Gail rubbed small comforting circles on Holly's exposed waist. "I know you are worried about Traci knowing, but trust Traci, trust me. If there is any way that we can keep you out of this investigation then we sure as hell will."

Holly nodded and said, "I don't want 15 knowing what happened."

Gail licked her lips and said, "I promise they won't know because we said anything. But Holly, there is an investigation, into everything. I can't promise no one else is going to find out."

Holly sighed and said, "I know."

Gail kissed Holly's head and asked, "How about we make breakfast as a way of thanking Traci, hmm? "

Holly smiled and nodded.

Holly quickly showered and got ready while Gail started to prepare the ingredients for pancakes.

When Holly was finished and dressed Gail had just finished making the pancake batter, fixing Traci a cup of coffee, and changing Spikes water. Spike was still upstairs asleep, but would appreciate the cold water later.

Holly walked into the kitchen and smiled at Traci, "Morning Traci"

Traci swallowed her coffee and smiled back, "Morning Holly."

Holly walked over to Gail and placed her hands around her waist and giving her a kiss on the side of her neck, "Shower's all yours. Go get ready everything should be done by the time you finish."

Gail shivered under Holly's touch and quietly nodded. Gail tried to speak but just stuttered, embarrassed she quickly walk away and up the stairs.

Holly smirked and turned her attention to the pancake batter and the grittle.

Traci just laughed, "I don't know what kind of lesbian superpowers you have but I have never seen Gail stutter. You my friend and a force to be reckoned with when it comes to Gail Peck."

Holly laughed and said, "You don't even know the half of it."

Traci just smiled and took another sip of her coffee. There was a slight tension in the room that neither wanted to broach.

Holly was waiting to flip the pancakes when Traci cleared her throat, "Holly look.. I- I know last night was hard. But I want you to know that everything you, me, and Gail talked about, privately, is just that. Private. No one will know unless it is discovered during the investigation or if you choose to say something."

Holly took a deep breath and nodded, "Thank you Traci. And not just for last night, but... just, thank you."

Gail re-entered the kitchen just as Holly was plating the first batch of pancakes. Gail went to reach for them when Holly swatted her hand, "No, Traci is a guest, she gets the first batch"

Gail rubbed her hand and narrowed her eyes at Traci.

Traci took the plate from Holly and smiled. She then turned to Gail and stuck her tongue out.

Gail pursed her lips and said, "Hooollllyyyy..."

Traci snickered and began eating while Holly rolled her eyes and said, "Gail.." while she pointed to the bar stool next to Traci.

Gail pouted and sat down next to Traci to wait for her pancakes. Holly smiled and said, "Good. Yours will be ready in a minute."

Traci just laughed again, she then looked at Gail and mouthed, "whipped".

Gail narrowed her eyes at Traci and was about to say something when Holly placed her pancakes in front of her. Gail quickly lost all interest in Traci and dug in.

Holly chuckled and made her own plate. The three women ate their breakfast and made small talk.

Holly looked at the clock and said, "Alright, I need to go. Do you guys want a ride?"

Traci shook her head and said, "No thanks, I drove last night."

Gail shook her head, "I'll ride with Traci, I need to get to parade on time today. I think Best has been putting me with Chloe just out of spite for being late."

Holly smiled and rolled her eyes, "Alright then. Feed Spike and lock up when you leave." Holly stood up and went to her room to grab her bag.

Holly came back to the kitchen and gave Gail a kiss, "I'll see you later?"

Gail nodded, "Yup. I'll try and stop by during lunch."

Holly nodded and gave her one last kiss, "Alright, see ya." Holly headed to the front door, grabbed her coat, put on her boots, and left the apartment.

Traci and Gail weren't far behind Holly in leaving. Traci double checked the room she slept in making sure she didn't forget anything; while Gail filled Spike's food bowl. Spike heard the sound of food hitting his bowl and came running down the stairs. As soon as Gail placed the bowl on the floor Spike dug in. Gail couldn't help but chuckle at how much Spike was like her when it came to food.

Gail rubbed Spike's head telling him bye. Gail and Traci left and locked the apartment and headed to division 15.

* * *

The day was slow. Steve and Traci were still trying to figure out the motive behind DJ's murder.

Steve ran his hand over his face sighing, "Maybe he was two timing? Like he was a Muerte Boy but also helping Russell?"

Traci sighed, "It doesn't matter. Unless we can find actual evidence against Russell this is all speculation."

Dov was sitting next to the detectives thinking, "What if we brought Tank in? Tell him we think DJ was double crossing him and see his reaction?"

Steve thought about it for a second, "It's a shot in the dark, these guys are usually stone cold, but it's worth a shot. We have nothing else. Alright someone find Tank and bring him in for questioning."

Dov nodded and picked up the phone.

* * *

Gail and Andy were in the cruiser when the call came in, "1520, we need you to pick up a Tanner "Tank" Mendez from the Lucas Apartments. What's your ETA?"

Gail sighed and grabbed the walkie, "ETA: 15 minutes."

The radio crackled to life and said, "Good, once picked up take to division 15 for questioning."

Andy flipped the lights on and they made their way over to the Lucas Apartments. Gail and Andy parked the cruiser and got out. Gail took a deep breath and said, "Lets get this over with."

Andy nodded as they opened the rusty door and made their way up to the 10th floor where Tank lived.

By the time Gail and Andy made it up the stairs they were both tired, since they had to use the stairs since the elevator was broken. Gail knocked on the door and said, "Mr. Mendez this is Toronto PD, please open the door."

They heard a few sounds and as Gail was getting ready to knock again the door opened revealing a shirtless and pantsless Tank.

Gail rolled her eyes as she saw Tank's 'the Boondocks' boxers.

Tank smirked and asked, "What you want?"

Andy took a step and said, "We would like you to come with us, we have some questions for you about DJ's murder. We would like to take you down to the station."

Tank sighed and said, "Well come in for a second. I need to get dressed."

Gail and Andy stepped into the apartment and stood awkwardly by the door, while Tank went to the back room to get dressed.

Andy started looking around at the posters on the walls and the pictures in the frames. Andy stopped moving and looked at Gail, "Hey Gail look. Isn't this Holly?"

Gail walked over to the picture that hung on the wall. Holly couldn't have been older than 14 when the picture was taken. She was on another boy's back, both of them smiling at the camera. Holly looked happy but there was something in her eyes that said otherwise.

Andy turned away from the picture when she heard Tank re-enter the room. Tank saw Gail still looking at the picture and walked up next to her, "Me and Holly back in the day."

Gail nodded and said, "She looks so young."

Tank nodded, "That's cause she was. Smart as hell though."

Gail smiled and said, "Don't I know it."

Tank smiled a little. Andy cleared her throat and asked, "You ready?"

Tank nodded and headed for the door. Gail and Andy were behind him and pulled the door closed hearing the lock click into place.

* * *

They made it to the station a few minutes later. Tank was brought into an interrogation room and asked to sit.

Steve was taking point on questioning while Gail and Traci stood behind the two way mirror watching and listening.

Steve started the questioning off with, "Thank you for coming in today."

Tank leaned back and said, "Whatever. Look just ask me what you need to ask me so I can go. I got shit to do."

Steve nodded and said, "Alright. What do you know about Gavin Russell?"

Tank's head snapped up and said, "What did you just say?"

Steve leaned forward and asked again, What. do you know. about Gavin Russell?"

Tank clenched his jaw and said, "Not much. He used to run with people before me. When he left I took over."

Steve then asked, "Left what? Took over what?"

Tank smirked and said, "I took over this clients for the plumbing company."

Steve licked his lips and asked, "The plumbing company?"

Tank nodded, "Yeah, we all work for Big Freddy's plumbing. Maybe you've seen the commercial?"

Steve wrote down the name Big Freddy's and looked back at Tank, "So after Big Freddy's what happened to Gavin?"

Tank sharply said, "He got into the adult club business. Other than that I don't know"

Steve then opened a file and looked through it, "So is that how Gavin and DJ knew each other? Through the club?"

Tank sighed and said, "The fuck should I know. I barely knew DJ. It's sad he got gunned down, but he probably started messing with the wrong people. Shit caught up with him. Can I go now?"

Steve sighed and said, "Look, I'll be honest with you. We have a strong reason to believe that Russell was behind the murder of DJ."

Tank leaned forward and said, "Well good for you. Why don't you go and get him while I leave."

Tank went to go stand up when Steve held up his hand, "Wait. Please two more questions."

Tank groaned and said, "Two more man, then I'm out."

Steve nodded in agreement, "Was DJ working with Russell?"

Tank sighed and said, "You want the truth, fine. Yeah DJ was working with Russell. I don't know, nor do I care, about what. All I know it that if Russell hadn't killed DJ someone else would have. He was a dumb kid who thought a guy like Russell would give a damn about him. I don't know why Russell killed DJ, but he must have done something that Russell didn't like. Russell uses people to get what he wants; No exceptions. If you are no longer useful Russell throws you out or gets rid of you permanently"

Steve then snuck in a follow up question, "So what you are saying is figure out what DJ was doing for Russell and we find out motive."

Tank shrugged and said, "Sure. A'int the who detective thing your job? We done now? You got your two questions."

Steve stood up with Tank and said, "No, that second one wasn't a question, it was a confirming statement. Seriously one more question."

Tank groaned but stayed standing, "Hurry up man, I don't got all day."

Steve nodded, "Ok. What happened between Holly Stewart and Gavin Russell."

Steve, luckily, was alert, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to move back as Tank lunged for him. Tank walked closer to Steve and said, "Don't you DARE bring Holly into this shit! And don't EVER mention Holly and that piece of shit Russell in the same sentence again!"

Tank then stormed to the door and left the station.

* * *

Gail and Traci watched as the interrogation played out. Traci had to physically restrain Gail from entering the interrogation room after Steve asked about the relationship between Holly and Russell. Traci led (dragged) Gail to the break room to cool down.

When Steve exited the interrogation room, and made a few calls to bring people in for questioning. Afterwards he too went to the break room to grab some coffee.

When he entered he was shoved up against the wall. Steve sputtered, "Wh-what the hell?" Realizing who had him pinned he tried to push back but it was to no avail. Steve looked at Gail and asked, "What the hell Gail?!"

Gail shoved Steve against the wall again and said, "No! Don't what the hell me Steven! You knew damn well to not bring up Holly! Are you really that much of an asshole!? Do you even remember last night? Holly was a mess at the mere mention of Russell's name. What in Gods' name made you think it was a good idea to bring Holly into this?!"

Steve sighed and said, "Gail I get it ok. You don't want your girlfriend anywhere near this case. I don't want Holly near this. But the facts are lining up that Holly might know something that could possibly be helpful."

Gail shook her head, "No. You already asked her. She doesn't know anything about the murder."

Steve sighed again, "This is more than just the Johnson murder. The suits want to bring down Russell. They are breathing down my neck to find something anything to get this guy off the streets. And Holly might be my best bet."

Gail scoffed and said, "So you are going to put my girlfriend, your friend, through hell to appease some suits? To get a gold star next to your name? You have no idea the hell you are going to put Holly through if you bring her into this. Please Steve, don't do this."

Steve looked at Gail's pleading eyes and dropped his head, "I'm sorry Gail. I'm already bringing Holly in. I called and asked her to come to the station for questioning. Please don't make this any harder than it already is."

Gail let Steve go and took a step back, "I hate you."

Gail then turned to leave and exit the break room.

Steve ran his hands through his hair and looked up again. Traci was standing there looking at him with disappointed eyes.

Steve looked at Traci and groaned, "Not you too."

Traci shook her head and said, "You know that was a dick move. You have no idea..."

Steve frustrated and tired, "You're right! I have no idea and no one will tell me!"

Before Traci could say anything a uniform opened the break room door and said, "Umm. Detective Peck, Gavin Russell is in interrogation room 1."

Steve nodded and said thank you before grabbing his folder and leaving the break room.

* * *

Steve entered the interrogation room and said, "Sorry for the wait. We just have a few questions for you."

Gavin sucked his teeth not caring. Steve gave Gavin a once over. He was average height, thin but muscular. He had piercing dark eyes and dark brown hair. His hair was perfectly gelled and slicked back. He wore a designer suit and shoes. If you were to see him on the street you would think he was someone who was a CEO, not a drug dealing murder and club owner.

Steve dove right in hoping to catch Gavin off guard, "Did you kill Damien Johnson?"

Gavin looked up at Steve and lifted a perfectly shaped eyebrow, "Who?"

Steve sighed, "Damien "DJ" Johnson."

Gavin ahhed and said, "Gotcha. The kid that was killed earlier this week. Such a shame, he was so young. 22 years old. A damn shame."

Steve stopped writing and looked at Gavin, how do you know how old he was?"

Gavin smoothly said, "The newspaper. There was an article about him this morning."

Steve sighed and asked Gavin a few more questions including 'where were you at the time of the shooting?' and 'do you heard anything about the shooting?'

Gavin answered both questions smoothly, "I was at my club. I'm usually there from around 10:30AM-3PM. Then I go home for a little before heading back out to the club at around 11PM. As for hearing anything I haven't. But if I do I'll be sure to give you a call detective."

Gavin then stood up, fixed his sleeves and his jacket, and left the interrogation room.

* * *

Just as Gavin left the room Gail, Holly, and Traci were walking towards the bulletin room, where Steve was planning on asking Holly his questions.

Gail, Holly, and Traci were walking and talking when they saw the interrogation room door open. Before Gail or Traci could distract Holly or get her out of there Gavin walked out.

Holly stopped walking and starred at Gavin. Gavin starred back. It took him a few minutes before placing who the gorgeous brunette was. Gavin walked towards the exit but made sure Holly was looking at him, as he rubbed his nose and sniffed hard.

Gavin smirked and winked at Holly before leaving the station.

Holly hadn't moved. She was lost in her own thoughts and memories. It wasn't until Gail placed a hand on her lower back and gently pushed her did she snap back to reality. Steve looked at her and asked, "Holly you ok? You seem a little pale."

Holly swallowed and looked between Gail and Traci. Holly didn't say a word as she quickly walked to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

Holly didn't notice Gail right behind her until she felt Gail holding her hair back and rubbing her back as she vomited.

When Holly had nothing left in her stomach she flushed the toilet, washed her hands, and rinsed out her mouth.

She was about to leave when Gail grabbed her hand. Holly was looking at Gail with wide scared eyes. Gail then pulled her by the hand into a fierce hug. Holly collapsed into Gail's embrace sobbing.

Gail held Holly tight as she cried.

Gail whispered sweet, hopefully comforting, nothings into Holly's ear. Gail knew that there was nothing that she could really do to help, because the one person that Holly has spent of a decade avoiding just walked past her and walked back into her life.


	5. Chapter 5

SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT AND LENGTH!  
TW: mentions of drugs and abuse. Nothing graphic.

* * *

Holly was clutching Gail's uniform in her hands while she tried to get her breathing back to normal.

Holly could feel Gail's breath in her ear. She knew that Gail was saying something but she couldn't make out the actual words.

Holly tightened her grip on Gail and tried to forget about seeing Gavin. Holly thought about Gail and her friends and the life that she has built despite what happened to her in the past.

Holly's breathing finally returned to normal and the tears seemed to have stopped.

Gail pulls back just a little so that she can see Holly's face. Holly has this far away look in her eyes. Gail knows Holly well enough to know that she is getting herself into a good mental headspace, so that she can put on the mask of being ok.

Gail watches as Holly opens her eyes. Her brown chocolate eyes have lost a little of their light and look tired. Gail cups Holly's cheek and says, "It's ok. You don't need the mask for me."

Holly swallows and nods her head. Holly then pulls away from Gail and straightens her spine. She calmly walks over to the sink and splashes her face with cold water. Gail just stands and watches as Holly makes herself formidable.

With her tears washed away and her mask firmly in place Holly looks to Gail and says, "Lets get this over with. I have to be back at the lab soon."

Gail nodded and opened the door for Holly to exit.

Gail looked, around the station, for Steve and Traci. Gail spotted Steve over by the interrogation rooms.

Gail took Holly's hand and lead her over to Steve.

When Steve saw them coming over he gulped. The look in Gail's eyes was anger and disgust; while Holly's eyes were just bare with no emotion. Steve wasn't sure which frightened him more.

Steve looked at Holly and said, "Thanks for coming in Holly. I know this is really hard. And I'm sorry."

Holly gave a slight shrug and emotionlessly said, "I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Lets just get this over with. Oh, and Steve you have no idea how hard any of this is. So lets just get this done with so I can go back to work."

Holly walked into the room without another word.

Steve and Gail were both shocked at Holly's words.

Gail then turned to Steve and said, "You have no idea what you are about to put her through. I hope the gold star next to your name is going to be worth destroying one of the sincere and good hearted person we know."

Gail then turned away from Steve and went into the viewing room so she could hear Steve and Holly, just incase she needs to get Holly out of there.

Steve shrank back a little at Gail's words and could feel the guilt weighing down on him.

* * *

Holly was sitting in the interrogation room in the steel chair with her hands placed on the table, tightly clasped together.

When Steve entered the room Holly didn't even blink.

Steve sat down and placed two folders on the table. Steve looked at Holly and said, "You're right. I don't understand, but I want to. I need to know what you know about Gavin Russell. I can't put him away without the truth. I can't go after the Muerte Boys without the truth. I can't get justice for Damien Johnson without the truth."

Holly looked at Steve and saw the sincerity in his eyes. Holly sighed, "Steve I can't give you truth I don't have. I didn't know Damien. Did I know kids like him, yes. Did I know gang member like him, yes. Have I met detectives like you, yes. You are all in the same mindset. You can't save everyone, you can't bring down a gang with one case, you can't understand things that are un-understandable to you."

Steve groaned and said, "Then what Holly? Just drop this case? Let the Muerte Boys and 'Tank' take care of it? God Holly you sound like one of them, with the 'you don't understand' bullshit! I understand!"

Holly linked her fingers together and looked Steve in the eye, "Do you really understand Steve? Do you know what it's like to have no food, no money, no family, no escape? You understand what it's like debate between cold medicine and food? You understand that when you have nothing, you have nothing to lose?"

Steve couldn't lie, he knew nothing about those kind of struggles.

Holly sighed again, "You will never really and truly understand Steve. Not you, not Traci, not Gail. No matter how hard you try until you have lived it. Day in and day out. Until you question 'Should I even bother?'. You want to know what I know about Gavin, fine. Damien, fine? But the Muerte Boys and my family are off limits."

Steve nodded and said, "Ok. ok.. Umm.. When did you first meet Gavin?"

Holly leaned forward and thought, "2000, I was 15."

Steve wrote it down, "How did you get introduced to Gavin?"

Holly took a deep breath and said, "I met him at the Lucas Apartments one summer. He was working with Tanner and them. From what I remember he was the middle man between drugs and guns. I met him by accident. He was at the apartment and I came home from the store and met him then. We didn't really talk. Just friendly introductions."

Steve nodded, "What drugs?"

"Cocaine" Holly said.

Steve then asked,"So when did you two start talking?"

Holly looked past Steve and to the two way mirror. She knew Gail was there. Holly licked her lips and said, "When he gave up the middle man position he took over a local club. I had been working at the club on and off; bartending, helping with waitressing and the rare dancer."

Steve was writing notes then he stopped, "Wait. You were a bartender and stripper at 15?"

Holly nodded, "I was 15 with no money. I didn't really care about the legality of it. Gavin took over the club from a guy named Ricko, I don't know what happened to him. Just left one day. Gavin kept me and a few other girls."

Steve nodded, "Ok. I'm sorry to ask but how close were you to Gavin?"

Holly ran her hand through her hair, "Close-ish."

Steve raised an eyebrow, "Care to elaborate."

"Not really, but if I must." Holly said. "We would talk before my shift sometimes during. He would ask about school and about Tank. He always made sure that I had enough money for my half of the rent and to buy food. So we were close-ish.

Steve looked back at Holly and asked, "So what happened? Why the falling out?"

Holly leaned back in the chair again and let her eyes drift to the mirror again. Holly then took a deep breath and began to explain. "Like I said before, before Gavin there was Ricko. Sometimes if a dancer called out I would take her spot. I was always nervous, so Ricko would take the edge off. It was only sometimes, I felt good. I would do the routine, collect $300, and go home. After Ricko left I didn't dance..."

Steve stopped Holly and asked, "What happened next?"

"A dancer called out last minute. There was a hole in the line up. So Ricko asked me to take her place since he knew I had danced before. He also knew how Ricko would take the edge off, but Gavin decided that all the dancers were to take a hit."

Steve slowly looked at Holly and asked, "So he got you all addicted to cocaine?"

Holly nodded slowly, "Yeah. One hit before getting on stage and one after. He made it so they had to wait for the high."

Steve looked at Holly and said, "They? Not you?"

Holly chuckled humorlessly, "Caught that. Since I was Tank's 'sister', and Tank was his 'brother' then we were family. And Gavin made sure to take care of family."

Steve nodded and asked, "What happened next?"

"Soon all I wanted to do was get high, escape my life. I would do almost anything, and Gavin knew that. Gavin then made a rule either bring in more money than the hit is worth or sleep with him as payment. I always knew I was gay, so I made sure to make the money. But others weren't as lucky."

Steven then asked, "So what happened between you and Gavin? What made you leave?"

Holly ran her hand through her hair again, "I was high, high as a kite. I paid Gavin the money but he wanted more."

Holly had to pause and fight back the tears, "I begged him not to. That he was 'family'. That I didn't like him like that. But Gavin isn't the kind of person you say no to."

Steve looked at Holly shocked. He finally realized why Holly could barely stand to say or hear his name. Why Holly doesn't want to be near him. That sick bastard raped her.

Holly quickly wiped away the tears, "I was going to try and keep it a secret but Tank saw the bruises and figured out what happened. Tank nearly killed Gavin for what he did. That was Tank's first arrest, he was arrested and jailed because he beat up the guy that forced himself on me. But before he was arrested he helped me get clean. Tank was in jail for 8 months, since it was his first offense and he was still a minor. When he got out I gave him the money I had saved and told him I was leaving. Tank and I got our tattoos that night. The next day I was on a bus to Montreal where I got my GED online and enrolled in college. Until this week I haven't thought about my past. It was another life."

Steve nodded, "Thank you Holly. I.."

Holly held up her hand and said, "Are we done? I need to get back to work."

Steve nodded and closed his note pad, "Yeah. Thanks for speaking with me."

Holly nodded her head and said, "Yeah" before opening the door and walking out.

* * *

Gail was still standing behind the two way mirror when Steve opened the door.

Steve looked at Gail and tried to apologize, "Gail, I'm sor..."

Gail turned to him with tears in her eyes and said, "No. You don't get to be sorry. You didn't need Holly for this case. You wanted to know if she knew anything that could put Gavin and Tank away. You didn't need to make her think about those memories."

Gail took a breath and sternly but calmly said, "Steve if you make her go back to drugs, or if I lose her, I will never ever forgive you.. If you cost me the love of my life, I won't be your co-worker, your friend, or your sister."

Gail the wiped her face on her sleeve and walked past Steve.

* * *

Holly was getting a ride back to the morgue with a uniform officer from 15. The car ride was silent. Holly got a text from Gail saying, 'I'm sorry you had to do that, but I still love you, and think you are the strongest person I know. I love you, lunchbox.'

Holly smiled at the text and replied, "I love you too. Sorry I didn't wait. I just need some time. Love you."

Holly was dropped off at her office. Holly plopped down in her chair and ran her hands over her face.

Holly put her lab coat back on and was headed to the morgue. When she opened her door, she jumped and gasped not expecting him to be at her door.

* * *

A/N: Hope this was ok. I need to find my groove for writing this one again. Hope this give more insight into Holly's past. Sorry for the slight cliffhanger. Hope to have another chapter soon, but no promises on when.


End file.
